Oh, Jerusalem. I've been to Jerusalem three times now, and each time I've avoided going to the Western Wall or anywhere near the old city.
I wrote that three days ago and since then I've been trying to figure out what that means and why I have been avoiding it.
And yesterday I realized that it is because I am someone who right now feels hopeful about Israel and about Palestine and about peace, and going to the Western Wall doesn't make me feel hopeful. It makes me feel stressed out and like it is a small little microcosm of everything that is wrong with this country. From the raging disparities in the men's and women's sides of the wall to the people begging who sit in the old city to the fact that one of the holiest sites in Islam sits five feet from one of the holiest sites in Judaism to the holier than thou haredi men who make sure you are dressed up to their standards, Jerusalem makes me feel stressed and not hopeful. Oy va voy.
So, true to character, I'm avoiding conflict! But, I think I've got to get down and dirty with it, start confronting what I don't want to confront, start really hearing all of the different narratives of the conflict. I've decided to give myself until September 1st to get my life together. On the 1st I move to my new apartment (hurrah!) and will finally really unpack, wash some clothes, stop eating burekas and iced coffee for breakfast, stop drinking beer on the beach every night, and basically, stop being on vacation. I will also hopefully find my camera to computer connector and be able to post all the fabulous pictures I am taking!
In other news, tonight for Shabbat I am off to my friend's apartment. She just moved in with a gay couple - one religious, Jewish-Israeli man and one religious, Muslim, Palestinian-Israeli man. It should be like a documentary movie and it should be fascinating, and hopefully I will leave the evening feeling totally clear on my feelings about this strange, strange country. Stay tuned for exciting updates!
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